INFORMATION ABOUT DATING VIOLENCE
Does Keeping It Secret Hurt?
Dating violence refers to psychological, physical, digital, or sexual violence occurring in relationships among 13–29-year-olds.
It is a common but still poorly recognized phenomenon.
According to research, nearly every second young person has experienced violence in a dating relationship.
Still, talking about it is difficult for many. Young people rarely share their experiences with professionals and usually turn to their friends instead.
Dating violence can affect anyone, regardless of gender. However, boys and young men are less likely to recognize experiences of violence and talk about them than girls or women.
Preventing, identifying, and addressing dating violence are important, as unprocessed experiences of violence often affect both functioning and mental health.
If young people do not receive professional help, the risk of violent relationships in the future also increases.
Violence Can Take Many Forms
Psychological violence
Constant criticism, name-calling, blaming, controlling, or threatening the other person.
Psychological violence can make you feel like you’re not good enough.
Physical violence
Pushing, hitting, choking, throwing objects, or any other form of physical harm.
Sexual violence
Pressuring or forcing someone into kissing, touching, or sex.
Sexual violence also includes ignoring or disrespecting someone’s boundaries.
Digital violence
The most common form of dating violence.
Examples include constant messaging, location tracking, limiting communication, making threats online, or sharing intimate images without consent.
Why It’s Important to Talk About Dating Violence
Experiences of violence can weaken a young person’s self-esteem, mental health, and ability to function.
If left unaddressed, they can also repeat in future relationships.
Preventing dating violence begins with awareness and recognition.
It’s important to understand what a healthy and safe relationship looks like — and that violence has no place in it, in any form.
Young People’s Thoughts on Relationships and Violence
“I was looking for happiness in another person and gave them too much responsibility. Then I realized that the good you get through someone else can’t be sustained.”
— High school girl
“When you really talk about these things with friends, you realize that many are struggling with exactly the same issues.”
— Vocational school student
“It would be more socially acceptable for a woman to be controlling than for a man. From a man’s point of view, that feels unfair.”
— High school boy
“It’s better when the relationship is equal, not one where someone has power over the other.”
— High school boy
Professionals’ Perspectives
“Dating is a sensitive stage in a young person’s identity development. If a boy gets hurt during that phase, it can later manifest as aggression or difficulty expressing emotions.”
— Social worker, child welfare services
“Some young people have poor role models at home. That’s why professionals should talk more openly and courageously about dating and violence.”
— School youth worker
Research Insights
University of Tampere Study (2023):
Dating violence often goes unnoticed, and talking about it can be difficult.
Most young people share their experiences of violence with a friend, but rarely with adults.
Recognizing violence is a prerequisite for being able to talk about it and seek help.
From young people’s experiences:
“It’s hard to talk about violence if you don’t recognize it or don’t have the words for it.”
That’s why it’s important for young people to learn to identify the different forms of psychological, digital, and sexual violence.
How to Prevent Violence
By increasing knowledge and open discussion about relationships
By encouraging young people to talk about their own experiences
By offering low-threshold help and support
By making violence visible as a social issue — without blaming anyone
If there’s something in your own or a friend’s relationship that doesn’t feel right, it’s important to talk about it.
Help is available — confidentially and free of charge. Help for You ›
